


If a miracle only happens once, then what is it called the second time?

by RaggedyPrpleWomyn



Category: Bleach, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 2021, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Kurosaki Ichigo, Kurosaki Ichigo is Tired, Kurosaki Ichigo-centric, M/M, Mercy pls with your judgements, Mostly Gen, POV Alternating, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Winter War (Bleach), Pre-Relationship, Survivor Guilt, Violence, first fanfic and completion of New Years resolution
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28472520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaggedyPrpleWomyn/pseuds/RaggedyPrpleWomyn
Summary: It was done. Aizen had been sealed and all that was left to do was pick up and try to fix whatever had managed to survive the destruction.———This takes place after Ichigo defeats Aizen and lose his powers.Author’s Note: My schedule will probably have me updating once a month at the least, usually at the beginning of the month. I may sometime be a few days late however- so I would ballpark the first week of every month.
Relationships: Kurosaki Ichigo/Sado "Chad" Yasutora
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	1. Preview

_It was done. Aizen had been sealed and all that was left to do was pick up and try to fix whatever had managed to survive the destruction._

_In the ruins of the battle between Aizen and Ichigo, everything surrounding them was rubble. The only body visible was Ichigo’s strewn haphazardly over the collapsed form of a building. As Urahara neared Ichigo he could feel what was left of the boy's final push for power dissipate into the air. They would need to hurry if they wanted him to survive. His soul form would not last long on its own._

_Something in Urahara’s gut churned and he wondered if it was guilt for what Ichigo would suffer for the rest of his life._

_“If he even manages to last that long,'' muses Urahara. It did not matter, the time for reluctance had long since passed. Now all that could be done was hope that Ichigo would manage to make it past his losses._

_——————————————————————————————————————_

_He couldn’t see anymore. He was blind blIND_ ** _BLIND_** _._

_It hurt- he hadn’t thought it could hurt more but there was pain all the time now._

_He couldn’t tell the difference between the physical and spiritual pain, and what his mind would make up on its own._

_He kept thinking he heard a voice. It wasn’t his Zangetsu but something other-_

_——————————————————————————————————————_

**_“It is the decision of the Central 46, ruling body of the Seireitei, that Kurosaki Ichigo will be cut-off from Soul Society and barred from any information of the spiritual world from now on.”_ **


	2. One

The Central 46 was made up of fools. Worse, it was made up of egotistical fools so caught up in their self-assigned importance and wisdom that they were blind to any mistakes they made. The previous ruling body had been slaughtered by Aizen and just as quickly been replaced by like-minded imbeciles.

To Urahara Kisuke, Central 46’s stupidity was clear. He could see it in the way they had cut Ichigo off. It wasn’t to protect or let him live a normal life, like in the lies they spun to the soul reapers. But the dismissal of one they deemed no longer useful as a tool. The loss of his powers made Ichigo easier to control and neatly fixed the issue of having to deal with a third-party that held not only great power but influence as well. 

There was no subtlety in their goals either. It was in the way they kept attempting to send shinigami to Ichigo’s sisters to “help them with their powers”. In the way they “pardoned” him and the Visored. Their condensation and arrogance of Ichigo infuriated him. It brought back cold memories of his time as a 2nd Division member, as the Captain of the 12th and Warden of the Maggot’s Nest. The way his blood stilled and his vision tinted red on the edges. His anger carefully hidden by the dip of his hat and behind the shadow of his fan.

When they had called him to chamber and ordered him

- _ as if they had such a right!-  _

to cease contact with Ichigo and work on bringing his younger sisters into the fold, he had simply smiled at them. No doubt they would try to mold those two ( _ young and small- even more than Ichigo had been _ ) into weapons for themselves. The sisters were notably weaker than their brother, but the potential they had wouldn’t be ignored. As young as they were it was easier to manipulate them, to direct their thoughts in a matter that easily benefited the soul reapers. A nudge towards a moral obligation of not letting hollows run around. A push towards thinking about how Ichigo couldn’t defend himself anymore and needed to be kept away for his own safety. It was almost laughably (pitifully) easy.

There was no way to outright refute the current authority that the Central 46 held however. Even fools could be dangerous, and Soul Society had reestablished the precedent of “destroy first, ask questions never”. Any opposition would no doubt lead to a swift and painful fate. As slow as they had always been, Soul Society would not hesitate to quickly quell any force opposing their rule. The loss of stability due to all the recent conflict had only cemented their authority. 

It was all Kisuke could take to keep from drawing Benihime on the lot of them. A call for blood and retribution rang in his ears. _Cut them down Show them-_ His spirit was a reflection of him and if others would ever feel even a taste of the bloodlust he hid… well it was a good thing he had such control.

But he would do his best to keep the Kurosakis safe. Ichigo Kurosaki had been born to take down Aizen. Now with Aizen gone and Ichigo still alive, Kisuke would try to make up for the macinacitions that had made up Ichigo’s life. He was responsible for the direction things had taken. The debts he owed Ichigo for…  _ everything _ .

_ Danger danger danger Sacrifices and pain that was what he made Allhehadledhimto _

The Visored were attempting to help his research, bringing him any type of information on souls they could get their hands on. They’d scoffed at the hubris that Soul Society had shown.

It was the same as ever. The way they hid their dirty history, buried the truth under the shining lies that prettied up what they were. It did not stop them from being dangerous. Time and time again it had been proven how the Sereitei would deal with any undesirables and the foes that dared to stand against it.

Only a little over a hundred years and even the massacre of the Central 46 at Aizen’s hand hadn’t really changed anything. As always things became stagnant, the soul reapers falling into line unquestioning of the things that went on around them. While the Gotei 13 may have been restless and troubled about how things had finished, none of the Captains or Lieutenants made a move. They patted themselves on the back and assured themselves that this was for the best. Told themselves that leaving Ichigo out of the affairs of the dead was the best. Let the boy live a peaceful life from now on. It was against the law for the dead to interfere with the living anyway.

A few of the soul reapers had refused to forget though. Those were the ones that Urahara used. Ichigo had made many allies, and many of the friends he’d left behind fought for him. While the Central 46 may have ordered for Ichigo Kurosaki to be cut out, metaphorically at least, they refused to leave his side. The loyalty he inspired was strong. 

It surprised Urahara though, who the people that approached him to try and help were sometimes. People who should have stood for Ichigo had taken a step back and from the shadows had come others to lend their support. The soul reapers who had stood with Ichigo directly had become passive in his dismissal. Soul reapers who Kisuke had not known Ichigo had even interacted with had come to him.

The support from those within the Fourth Division had been the greatest help. Unohana may not have done anything herself but Urahara had no doubt that she knew exactly what was happening in her division. She valued strength and while she may have come to heel under the Captain Commander’s rule, she was by no means a trained dog. 

With the support from the Fourth it was easier to research soul matters. Nowhere near what the 12th Division would have been able to manage, but Urahara knew when to appreciate the cards dealt. He was lucky there was this much support. The more options he had, the greater possibility of one of them being successful. There would be a greater opportunity to restore Ichigo’s soul.

He continued to invite Ichigo over. He used the time that Ichigo was there to record him and surreptitiously try to support his soul. While no obvious outward signs had appeared, to Urahara who knew what to he was looking for, there was a clear decline in Ichigo’s soul. The results were the clear consequence of Ichigo losing so much of his soul. Not only the loss of his powers but the continued decline of health was becoming more and more apparent as time passed by. 

It left Urahara scrambling to patch the holes in Ichigo’s soul as much as he could and try to find a way to help him heal. The watchers that the Central 46 sent made matters harder to deal with though. As well as the Onmitsukido that were sent to watch. He was lucky that his allies could send warnings of the dogs sent by Soul Society. 

His acquiescence in the matter of securing the Kurosaki sister’s loyalty towards Soul Society gave him a certain lenience. Framing it as a preemptive check to ensure that Ichigo would not stir up trouble, even in his weakened state had allowed for the visits to continue. He doubted that the Central 46 had believed him, but their hubris easily made them believe their own control over the situation. They were waiting for him to slip and give them cause for an execution- or lifelong imprisonment in the Maggot’s Nest. 

Ichigo was no doubt aware something was going on. The boy was sharp for all of his brusqueness. The ex-substitute shinigami had not brought it up as of yet. It helped  _ hurttrustWHY _ that he trusted Kisuke even after learning of his part in manipulating his life. For all of his straightforwardness, Ichigo apparently did have a head for when to keep his mouth shut. He was waiting for Kisuke to make his move before addressing his own concerns. 

That trust was solid. Sometimes Urahara couldn’t breathe under the focus that Ichigo would give him. Heavy weighted stares full of intent. Confident in his choice, Ichigo was waiting for him. The magnitude of how important he was to Ichigo grounded him. Because only someone who was important to him would get away with so much. Ichigo had stepped back, even though the irritation that lurked under his skin would be so great. The way that his grief at being left out would choke his happiness, and even then Ichigo let him keep his secrets.

Urahara knew that Ichigo took that anger out on the thugs in Karakura town. That most nights he only returned to his house late, bloodied and hurt. It was his release, and Urahara couldn’t bear to take that away from him. Until he could heal Ichigo he had no right to direct him. Ichigo was watching him, trusting his decisions, trusting him to keep his little sisters safe. He would not disappoint this first. Soon Urahara would find a way to help Ichigo. 

He would not let him down.

  
  
  



	3. Two

It had taken a while into his research on souls for Kisuke to turn his focus towards the magical communities. Those people… it had been a while since any focus had been directed towards them. They were a branch of the living that had done some research into the topic of souls supposedly. It had occurred to him that their abilities and knowledge allowed for the possibility of developing a plan that might assist in healing Ichigo. Kisuke was angry at himself for not having thought of it sooner. Any avenue that could help Ichigo needed to be investigated. 

Immediately he’d sent out people to investigate the nearest magical community. His scouts looked into any libraries and centers of knowledge to look for anything related to souls. 

He knew that they would approach him eventually. The community of almost-reiatsu wielding people had finally noticed the increase of soul reapers flitting in and out of their libraries. While unable to actively observe them, they had always maintained an annoying ability to sense the presence of uncloaked soul reapers. Kisuke had maneuvered it so that they would take notice of their presence. It was better to directly work with them, instead of losing time sneaking around. Kisuke had neither the time or patience to corral both the magical community’s forces and Soul Society’s spies. 

The “magical” communities were headaches that Soul Society tried to avoid as much as possible, while simultaneously monitoring. The inability to quel them, as they had the Quincy, had been a matter that Soul Society did it’s best to forget. 

Other than having a higher chance of becoming soul reapers, their abilities were lost with their deaths. The situation they presented in the world of the living was ultimately of no real consequence in the end. As soul reapers were not meant to influence the living world, they had then largely been left alone. 

To ensure their control over the situation however, Soul Society did have several people integrated into several of the more stable magical communities. A few of the noble families had even established “lines” in quite a few of the Asian communities as well. Consequently and fortuitously, the Shiba clan had entrenched their own family into the records. 

Kukaku was fond of Ichigo and infuriated at the way he had been cast away. Her temper had only worsened at hearing Ishinn’s part. She had agreed to provide as much help as she could. It was easier to contact and direct their people in Soul Society with the Shiba family’s assistance. Fallen from grace as they had and largely ignored by the rest of Soul Society let them easily maneuver things. It had been decades since any active movement had been officiated in the Japanese sector.

In the end, the lack of utility of the magical community’s abilities and inability to integrate them into Soul Society’s forces had left them largely unchecked. 

Kisuke knew, however, the strides that those people had made in many areas. He required the knowledge they potentially held. Specifically, what he needed was the knowledge they held on the structure of souls. So he’d sent his allies to gather the information they held. He’d alerted Kukaku to his plan. While the Shiba Clan may have declined in power in Soul Society, they still held significant sway in the Japanese community as a powerful family. That authority could be used to gain what he needed from them.

The Japanese sector was aware of the existence of Soul Society to a degree. They recognized them as beings not of their plane. As a country that had always been spiritually focused, it was of no wonder that the magical community had made an effort to record and instances they became aware of the influence of soul reapers in the living world. Like the rest of humanity though, they were unable to see the Soul Reapers or Hollows in their midst. The knowledge they held of Soul Society was largely inconclusive, however they had realized that the beings that descended among them from time to time were significantly more powerful than what they could wield.

The traffic of soul reapers that Kisuke had sent through their community had finally been noted. To lead them to him, he’d left a trail. Made it apparent that there was something he needed. No doubt they would take the opportunity to try and negotiate with him. Kisuke has been waiting for them. He would use them as another avenue of research, they would be helpful in finding a way to return Ichigo’s soul to its past health. While it was easy for him to acquire the knowledge they had, he needed more, he needed access to the minds that had studied souls.

Now they were here, requesting an audience. By playing his cards correctly, he could get what he needed from them easily. Whatever they wanted in return was of little importance to him, he’d give them what they thought they wanted as long as it let him reach his goal. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Kisuke smiled at the person entering the room. From his position at the table he had an advantageous view of all the players, those seen and unseen. While he may have been the only one visible to their guest, Shinji and Mugurama had both taken up different sides of the room to observe the proceedings. With his back to the wall, able to watch the exit, and a cleverly placed mirror across, he wouldn’t miss any reactions.

The Japanese Ministry of Magic had requested to speak with him and he’d kindly set up the meeting at one of the Shiba Clans properties. It was a power play, the officials would not only elevate the status of the Shiba Clan, they would be forced to recognize connections that he already had in the community. The Shiba family was already notoriously powerful, recognized as a ruling noble clan. It was a blatant sign that while he was opening a line of communication, the power they had thought they could bargain with was limited. This meeting was most likely of great importance to the Japanese ministry. It would be the first time they would hold a verified record of contact with the soul reapers they struggled to record anything of.

As the man settled, Kisuke signaled to Shinji to run a check. The magic community had several tricks and though the innovation they exhibited would have taken his attention any other day, he could not allow anything to slip his notice with this meeting. Shinji smiled widely at him before settling down. He’d released his Shikai before-hand, the second that the people from the Japanese Ministry had entered, they’d fallen into Shinji’s domain. It would ensure that if there were any attempts to use their magic, it would not end well for them. 

  
  


“Welcome, welcome! It’s such a pleasant day to talk, wouldn’t you agree? Please, have some tea. I am Urahara Kisuke, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”, Kisuke inclined his head shallowly at the person seated in front of him.

Bowing his head slightly deeper, the representative of the Japanese Ministry of Magic greeted him in return. “Thank you, it is a pleasure to meet you Urahara-dono. It is a good day. My name is Nishimura Haruto.”

He needed to keep a hold of the meetings flow. Things would go smoother if he made sure the conversation continued to be directed in his favor. Deciding to broach the topic before the other could, Kisuke said, “Yes, now I believe that there was a topic you wished to discuss? I am quite interested in what your Ministry contacted me for.”

“Of course, Urahara-dono.”, responded Nishimura. “The Japanese Ministry of Magic requested an audience to discuss the recent activity that has been noted concerning your people. Okamoto-shacho, would like to extend an offer to assist in your search.” 

As expected, the Minister was reaching out personally it seemed. Being the first Minister to have contact with Soul Reapers would raise his standing and increase his popularity as a politician. The offer was the opening he needed. Kisuke was pleased that this meeting did not necessitate any… pressure to gain access. Nishimura had been quick and to the point. Hopefully, the negotiations for what they wanted in return would not be so troubling that they could not move forward quickly.

“How delightful Nishimura-san. It is quite fortuitous that the Japanese Ministry is so accommodating.” Kisuke reached for a cup of tea. The relaxed image he presented helping ease the representatives' frame. The man had read and understood the situation quickly.

“It is our hope that we can assist you with whatever you need. The Ministry is well connected and we are certain we would be of great help.”

_ Oh-ho _

So that was the path they were taking. To attempt to have him  _ owe _ them something. These people were quite greedy to have overstepped their bounds so quickly. Nishimura had overestimated his position it seemed. While Kisuke may not have presented any open opposition he’d thought it easy to control what was happening. 

Shinji was laughing, leaning against the wall. Even Mugurama was smirking from where he leaned. Kisuke took a moment to observe the man across him. For a second, just to show Nishimura where he belonged, he increased his output of reitsu. The man quickly hunched, managing to stop himself from completely falling over. The increase in pressure lasted so little, but Nishimura had clearly realized what it was. A threat for daring to presume his power over the situation. Kisuke may not have minded acquiescing something to the Japanese Ministry of Magic, playing the kindly and quirky being, but it would not benefit him to allow even the slightest bit of leverage. 

Snapping open his fan in front of his face, he said, “Well it is not so important that you need worry yourself so. I do not wish to inconvenience, especially for such a…  _ generous _ offer.”

Rapidly backtracking, Nishimura quickly demurred, “Of course, we understand the significance of Urahara-san’s presence. We only wish to support and not inhibit you in any form.” 

The man’s skin had significantly paled and though he held a straight face, it served no defense against Kisuke’s skill at reading people. If Nishimura returned in disgrace after this meeting, the consequences would be deep. No doubt, his miss-step would get him punished severely already when he returned.

Without lowering his fan Kisuke answered, “Oh how kind! I do hope that my request does not trouble your Ministry”, It would be best to present the request with how desperate Nishimura would be to assuage the problematic situation he’d created for himself. “Ihave been doing research on human souls recently. I expect that your scholars have some knowledge on the subject and I would like to see it.” 

Offhandedly he said, “It is intriguing to see what mortals come up with.” He needed to make it appear as though his actions were more whimsical than they’d no doubt originally thought. Let them think that his search was more to do with a passing sort of interest. 

“I understand, Urahara-san. I shall relay your desire to the Ministry and we will contact you as soon as possible.” It was clear though, his words had created the intended effect. Nishimura had blanched when he’d heard Kisuke call them mortals. Even with the expanded lifetime of the magical community, they would not reach the numbers Soul Reapers could go to. 

“Ah, thank you Nishimura-san. I look forward to working with you. It would do well to have open lines of communication with your people. To contact me for another meeting, it may be directed through the Shiba family. They will have no difficulties reaching me.”

That would have to satisfy them for now. Kisuke rose and Nishimura followed suit. As he showed him out Kisuke twitched his fingers towards Mugurama to follow the man. Using Kisuke’s work, Muguruma would have no difficulty listening in on what the conversation between Nishimura and his superiors would be.

Mugurama nodded and left after the representative. The tea was left cold and mostly untouched on the table. How disappointing that Nishimura had not drank some. Perhaps, if he returned another time, he would partake. 

Even though the room was empty, Kisuke still motioned for Shinji to follow him out. Paranoia or not, it would be best to have the next conversation in private.

He and Shinji walked through the halls of the manor they were in. The venue that the Shiba clan had provided was certainly distinguished. It was styled after traditional Japanese architecture. 

As he walked, Kisuke mulled over what his next move would be. The information that the wizarding community may have had held promise. It would be infinitely easier to attain any knowledge on souls the other communities held without the risk of the Gotei Thirteen finding out. 

Ichigo’s soul had been torn apart under the weight of the Saiga no Getsuga Tensho. Isshin’s soul had suffered the same once and it had healed eventually. 

Kisuke hoped he could develop the same circumstance with Ichigo. The complexity of the issue revolved around the structure of his soul however. Kisuke feared an unstable awakening would kill him faster than the current state his soul was in. The prospect of hurting Ichigo terrified him.

_ ‘Ah Ichigo, soon… soon I’ll heal you. Let the foolish dogs in Soul Society bark as much as they want, in the end they won’t ever bite you.’ _

Humans were always curious. Often, they were foolish enough to risk experimenting on things better left alone too. Though Kisuke may not have had a leg to stand on concerning that, he knew there was a high chance that  _ something _ would come out of the research he could accumulate from the magical communities. If he could cement a stable flow of information from them, he expected a high probability of benefits to follow. It was not in his nature to ignore any avenue. Kisuke would not hesitate in reaping everything from them.

_ ‘Anything. Anything and everything to heal him. To help him. Soon, soon Ichigo you will be better. Then everything will be better.’ _

_ ‘I wonder how long Mugurama will take. I want to move forward as soon as possible.’ _

The sooner he could plan around what the Ministry wanted, the faster he could close a deal for what he needed. If it necessitated carrying to their whims a little, Kisuke would bend. While it was preferable to not let the magicals gain anything, the information on the structure of souls held a greater weight.

Annoyance stirred inside him. He ignored the feeling, there were greater things of import to focus on.

Kisuke led Shinji to the veranda outside of the estate. Though seemingly open for anyone to observe them, Kisuke knew how to ensure secrecy from any ears attempting to pry. Here they would wait for Mugurama to return and discuss their next approach.


	4. Three

Ten months had passed since the end of the war. Ten months since Ichigo had last felt complete. There was a void in his chest that left him feeling hollow. The consequences following the use of the Saiga no Getsuga Tensho had not only crippled his power, but his psyche as well. Zangetsu had been the representation of his innermost thoughts and mentality. For the personification of his inner thoughts, desires,  _ everything _ to be gone, never to return… 

Lately, it took him effort to do everyday tasks. Simple actions that once seemed do take no thought to complete now had to have careful focus put behind them. Otherwise it seemed like he was constantly wallowing through a wall of never ending smog. No matter what he did the days seemed to drag on and on, wearing him down. He couldn’t understand why he was still like this. The war had passed and the enemies defeated. But he was still on edge. He was  _ always _ on edge. Despite the haze that covered his thoughts, habit had his body constantly wired. The consequences of having to constantly fight for his life and safety showed in his actions and attitude. It had left him with tension in his body and unease plaguing his thoughts. 

Logically he  _ did _ know what was happening to him. His behavior and the pains that plagued him were to be expected. It didn’t mean he could understand or accept it though. The fighting had ended and the danger had passed, Ichigo should be better. 

With the end of the war, Ichigo had returned to his studies. Growing up with the clinic attached to the house had influenced his interest. He was swaying between following a medical track or something literature related. His grades had slipped and now he spent most of his time focusing on bringing them back up. Everything had fallen into the normal schedule from before soul reapers, Hollows, and mad wannabe-Gods had invaded his life. Things were peaceful. Things were fine.  _ He _ was fine. 

Ichigo would go to his classes, then he’d spend his day working at his part-time job. There was a distance now though. A separation between before and now. While his seat may have been surrounded by others, there was a sense of isolation from his classmates, including his friends. The others avoided any mention of Soul Society or their reaper friends around him. None of the soul reapers ever contacted him again. He thought ( _ hoped _ ) there might be a reason for some of them. Ichigo wanted to believe that at least the Visored wouldn’t have voluntarily left him on his own. They’d declared themselves as his allies during the fight in Fake Karakura. It hurt that he didn’t see them. He wondered if they ever watched him and if it was just that they wouldn’t show themselves to him. 

Sometimes he wondered which would hurt more. That they had left him or that they’d come back but still choose not to talk to him.

His friends in the Living realm tip-toed around him. Uryu and Orihime refused to mention anything spiritual or dangerous around him. Whenever a Hollow appeared though, it was extremely obvious. They would always jump up as if struck by lightning and hastily make excuses. They always avoided him afterwards, out of guilt it seemed. Keigo, Tatsuki, and Mizuiro had clearly noted the shift. Since they’d picked up on it, care had been taken to not talk about things around Ichigo either. It angered him, brought the grief and pain he carefully avoided thinking about closer to the forefront of his mind. 

Whatever bonds he'd imagined between them, had they ever really existed, were frayed and decaying. Slowly but surely Ichigo’s friends were drifting away from him. It was its own type of pain, one that cut just as deep as the loss of two-thirds of his soul. 

Laying on his bed he chuckled bitterly to himself. It hadn't been a good day. Ichigo had spent it jumping at noises and his temper had been drastically shorter. As evidenced by the way he'd snapped at Chad. When he'd realized how he was acting he'd left immediately. It wasn't fair to lash out at Chad, the guy was the only one who still hung out with him regularly. Chad had settled into their new routine easier than the others had. 

Even if they still hung out as a group at school, the others had avoided him since the loss of his powers. He knew they thought he'd feel worse with them continuing to train and keep in contact with the reapers. Only Chad had recognized that Ichigo was still Ichigo. The loss of his powers may have crippled him when it came to contributing to the spiritual side, but it hadn’t stopped  _ him _ . They had been friends longer than the others. Known each other before spirits and powers directed the shit show that was their life. The price of peace was the loss of two-thirds of his soul. That was the peace they’d won. But peace to Ichigo meant fighting the thugs and yakuza who took a problem with him. It was the “peaceful” life that he’d had before and didn’t change with all that had occurred. His body still remembered how to fight. His life hadn’t stopped with the loss of his powers.

It hurt to not have Shiro or the Old Man with him. Somedays all he would do was lay in bed. It felt like that was all he could do. Ichigo would sometimes spend days thinking about the people he'd failed to protect. Hateful thoughts would churn and grow until sometimes he felt like he'd be crushed. Those days he'd rarely get out of bed and if he did, it was like going through the motions with fog in his head blocking everything. Other days it would be like an itching underneath his skin and he'd go out into the town looking for somebody, anybody, to fight. No matter what he'd do though it wouldn't stop the litany of  _ yourfaultfailurewHyWHYhoWCouLDYOULET- _

So fighting with the local gangs and delinquents had resumed and he spent his days stalking through Karakura town, looking for trouble. While the dead might have still been wandering around wreaking their own havoc, Ichigo knew the living could cause just as much trouble. It was an outlet for his anger and grief. Split knuckles and bruises on his skin. The fights would get his blood pumping and cleared his mind. Things would go into focus and thinking became simple. It was easier to fall into the rhythm of a fight. It was easier to avoid thinking about why he fought. 

Though due to the recent increase in fighting, Isshin had started making him wrap up his own injuries. Under the pretense of making him be "responsible". It didn't fool Ichigo though, just like the others who still dealt with the Seireitei, Isshin had taken to avoiding him. Thinking about that just left him with a bitter taste in his mouth and wondering what his friends had been up to without him. So Ichigo wouldn’t think about it.

If anything important happened he trusted Chad to tell him. He might have been quiet and wouldn’t say much if things weren’t prompted, but that’s how it had always been with him. The few updates he’d get about what his friends were up to came from Chad. He kept him up to date on how Karin was doing as well. Ichigo didn’t often ask about their previous companions. It felt wrong to pry after those that had left.

He knew Karin had taken up training to be a reaper. It was obvious despite her attempts to sneak around. The others met up with Karin too, he knew. They were teaching her how to fight and Urahara was most likely supplying them. For all that the enigmatic man had manipulated him, he knew she'd be safe with him. The fact that Urahara would sometimes speak to him, would invite him over just to talk about non-consequential things assured him. Hat-and-Clogs was keeping an eye on the situation. With no threats to watch out for the shopkeeper would make sure she was safe. It was better too, no matter who Soul Society assigned to the area, they always seemed to be incompetant. It stirred up unease for what that meant for Karin and Yuzu, but there wasn’t much he could do as he was now.

In a way he almost felt better about her training with his friends. They'd protect her if things got too out of hand. As he was now, there was nothing he'd be able to do anyways. It hurt to think about, so that was another thing he avoided.

_ uselessweak _

He turned over and looked blankly at the wall. Ichigo tried to think of other things. Thinking about his friends had him feeling almost empty, leaving only pain and loneliness to occupy his thoughts. 

Frustrated with himself he picked up his phone and sent a quick message to Chad. Ichigo was going to take a walk through Karakura, see if any trouble turned up. Chad might join him, it’d be just like old times. Times before soul reapers and wars had intruded and wrecked their lives.

He sent off the message and forced himself off the bed. He avoided looking towards the closet and picked up some clothes he’d left to the side. Even if he changed his clothes to look nondescript it was easy for others to trace them back to him. Ichigo scowled down at his clothes and wondered why he even tried sometimes.

He tramped down the stairs, uncaring if he made a racket. Nobody was going to stop him. He checked his phone, there was a little check mark signifying the message had been read though there was no response. If Chad was going to show up, he’d do it. 

It helped sometimes though, to know there was still someone to update. Who wouldn’t look at him with pity and try to coddle by smothering him with silence. It brought the anger from earlier back. His temper boiled and thoughts crowded his head. Ichigo flicked his hood over his head and left.

There wasn’t anyone to stop him. Previously, where Yuzu or Karin may have asked him what he was doing, there was only silence now. Those days had long since passed. Now when all of them gathered under one roof there was only heightened tension to occupy the space words had filled before. 

  
  


\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finding trouble was easy. All he had to do was walk through Karakura for a bit. Like always they came to him. It’d taken him longer to find anybody itching for a tussle. The way he’d taken to the street the past couple of months finally had most of the regular fools who took offense to him making themselves scarce.

He punched the first guy in the face. The metal pipe to his back almost knocked him flat over, but he managed to catch himself and kick the guys legs out from under him. 

This group didn’t have anyone he recognized. Made sense with the way they’d immediately started to heckle him even though there were so few of him. His reputation usually preceded him. 

It was almost like he blacked out whenever he fought. He flashed in and out of awareness. For every hit he took he made sure he gave double the force back. It was exhilarating. Fighting woke him up, the pain felt  _ good _ . 

As he fought the group Ichigo felt powerful. He was beating them, he was no longer weak. 

It took a while of him going in and out of awareness to realize tht Chad was there. He smiled wider. Ichigo didn’t realize he had been smiling, but now, seeing Chad drive his fist into their opponents stomach had shivers going down his spine. This was good too. Watching Chad and the power he usually carefully contained.

Chad next to him here, in a fight felt good. It was them two as one-and-one. There was no need to hide or quiet, Chad knew him and his darkness. And he knew Chad’s. Together they were more than fine.

All too soon the fight wound down. Any stragglers from the group had run away quickly and Ichigo wasn’t inclined enough to chase after them. They would spread the story anyways. Remind others that Ichigo Kurosaki wasn’t someone that could be trivially messed with. It would lead to better compliance from the weaker groups. That made them easier to deal with later.

Chad approached him from where he’d ended up during the brawl. He walked his way around and over the guys left in heaps on the floor. Ichigo realized there was a chill from the night air as his blood began to cool down from the fight. The blood that had landed on him was beginning to prick at his skin. By the time Chad finally reached him, Ichigo was feeling slightly clammy from the stickiness of the blood, the sweat from the fight, and the cool air. 

Chad just looked at him and tilted his head, “You good?”

Ichigo nodded his head and answered, “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? You see how easy they went down. Nothing more than small fries trying to get some cred.”

Nodding his head, Chad turned away. He faced the way to his home but made no move. Ichigo scowled and lightly elbowed him in the side before setting off in the direction of Chad’s apartment.

  
  



End file.
